Ups and downs

Today was a tough day for me. It is hard to put into words the feelings that I have when it comes to my sweet son. His body is growing up and maturing into a young man. He is growing taller and he has the most amazing sweet spirit about him. His smile can light up any room that he enters. He can make even the darkest of days seem a little bit brighter. He will always have a "little boy" brain...he was born into innocence and he will leave this world in innocence someday. I am responsible for his safety and his happiness during his time here on earth. I can't believe that I have been entrusted with such a gift...me...who would have thought something like this could happen to me. There are some days that I look at him and he seems so "normal" to me. There are also the days that I look at him and he seems so lost in this world. I celebrate all the small milestones that he reaches. It is the simple things in life that matter in Raymond's world. I will never forget the day, about a month ago, when his teacher texted me and told me I needed to check my emails immediately. She had sent me a video of him writing the letter "R" for the very first time. I was jumping up and down! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. For so long...his teachers, aids, and therapists have been trying to get him to write. This is a difficult task for him and he did it! As we celebrate in the ups...we have to prepare ourselves for some downs. Sometimes new skills are short lived in his world...it is as if new skills are forgotten as quickly as they appear. I am thankful for the special moments that we have with him. I don't really care if he will ever be able to write an "R" again...I was able to see it once and that is enough for me. His brain is not complete...it never will be. Doctors and specialists can't explain why his brain works the way it does. They can't fix it and make it better. The only thing that matters is that he loves me and I love him! I don't think that I could ask for anything more than that.