How do I explain something to my daughter that I don't truly understand myself? How do I help her understand through her tears as I am fighting back my own?
That old saying "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is so untrue. Words can hurt us. Our words and actions to others make a huge impact. It is so important to be kind and compassionate to others.
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
I have to be blunt and just say that my son is NOT a fucking retard. I hate that I even had to type those words. I am sad that this is what you see when you look at him. I wish that you understood the hatred and wrongness behind your words. I feel so sorry for you. I am sure that my son even smiled at you...because that is who he is. He may have even laughed at you thinking that you were saying something funny to him or joking with him...not truly understanding your words.
Yes...my son is different than you.
"If you have to judge people, judge them based on what they can do, not on what they cannot. Judge them based on who they are, not who they aren't. Otherwise...you're judging based on your own shortcomings."
I don't dwell on what Raymond can't do.
I celebrate what he CAN do and who he is.
He has a mental disability and will always have the brain of a little boy.
He is always happy.
He lives in his own happy world all of the time.
He absolutely LOVES country music.
He loves his Ipad.
He loves Itunes giftcards.
He loves root beer.
He does not like onions.
He loves books and being read to.
He loves movies.
He loves eating out at IHOP.
He loves swimming or being in a hot tub.
He loves cheeseburgers.
He loves brussel sprouts.
The simplest things in life make him the happiest.
He is famous for his air guitar.
Last spring he got up in front of the whole school, faculty, and parents in the talent show. He sang and air guitared his way through "We Will Rock You" all by himself up on stage. He was so brave and received a standing ovation. People were whistling, clapping, and shouting for him. That day was one of my proudest moments in his life. He makes me proud everyday. His laugh is contagious. His smile can light up a room. We can't go anywhere without someone knowing him and going out of their way to speak to him.
He loves people unconditionally. He will give you a high five and become your best friend for life. He is a miracle and a blessing in my life. I thank God for him every day.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Please be kind with your words
Friday, April 1, 2011
Kaitlin has loved to play softball since she was little. She has always been such a tomboy and would play football if I would let her. She tried out for the Freshman/Sophomore team this year and made the team! She has played city league ball and was on an accelerated team and participated in the BYU softball camp. However...she has always dreamed about playing high school ball. Her try-out number was #54. She made the first cut and on the second day she was anxiously waiting for the coach to post the results on the softball athletic webpage. We just couldn't wait anymore...we hopped in the van and ran over to the school to see if it was posted on the door. She jumped out of the van and begged me to come with her. She ran up the stairs and saw her number on the door and she started crying. She was so excited! Ray was stuck in the car and didn't know what to think because I was hugging her and she was sobbing and he still wasn't sure she had made the team. We gave him the "thumbs up" and she ran towards him for a huge hug. All of her dreams were coming true.
Spring ball is tough because of the weather and so many games have been cancelled and rescheduled. She had a double header yesterday and they lost the first game and won the second. When she was younger she loved to play catcher. The last couple of years she has really liked to play 1st and 3rd base. She wasn't sure what to expect this year and she has always had a willingness to play where the coach wants to put her. She feels like she should be flexible that way and she just wants to play no matter what position the coaches want her in. The first game they played in the season she was the designated hitter. The second game she played right field. Outfield has never been her favorite place to play because when you are in city league you don't see very much action out that way and she thinks it is boring. She didn't complain about being in the outfield this time around and I was so proud of her. Yesterday she was put in to play short stop. She has never played that position before in a game. Holy Cow!!! I think we have found a great spot for her. She played amazing and her coach and the other parents were all so impressed with her. What a great boost for her confidence...the coach and her teammates were still talking about it with her today. After we got home from the game she quietly told me that she was pretty nervous about being put in that position in such an important game. She actually said that in her mind she was wishing to be in the outfield again. Too funny! It didn't take her long to feel comfortable playing short stop and we were so excited to watch her play! Now if we could just get her to feel more confident when she is up to bat. She has so much upper body strength and I know that she could smack the heck out of the ball! I absolutely love the coaches at the high school. They are wonderful and have been so good while working with her. They just have a great way of working with the girls. They are tough on them and expect so much from them but in the long run it will just make them better ball players. I can't wait to see how this team progresses over the season.
I look forward to each and every game. There is nothing better than being out in the sunshine and the smell of spring in the air. I love the sound of the bat hitting the ball! I love cheering on our team! I love this time of year with my family!
Always, Always, Always...be your child's biggest fan!