Thursday, May 20, 2010

Blah, Blah, Blah

It has been quite some time since I have updated my blog. I use this as a place to journal and keep track of my feelings and how things are going in my life. It just feels good for me to write things down...the words seem to come easier for me this way. Since January I have been obsessed and so focused with weight loss and trying to find the "healthier" me. Well here it is 5 months goal was to have lost 40-50 pounds by June. I have been so disappointed with the results from my efforts. I was not feeling well about 2 weeks ago...I had Mastitis and the lymph nodes in my armpit were inflamed. I headed back to the doctor just shortly after my hip pain and physical therapy and I just kept thinking to myself...What next? I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason". I am actually quite grateful that my infection happened because I have been going through some testing to find out what is going on with me. I am tired and run down ALL of the time. It takes everything in me to go to work and try to attempt to be a part of my family. My house is a wreck...dust and dirt galore...laundry is not caught up...and this makes me even more depressed. I really like to have a nice clean tidy house and I just can't find the time or energy to get it done. I got my test results back and I am so happy to know that there has been something wrong with me and it is not just in my head. I wasn't sure if I was just depressed or what. I have battled depression before, but this seemed different. I found out that I have Mono and I have had it for 3-4 weeks. My potassium level was too low. My B-12 level was low and I have been getting B-12 shots to help with that. My vitamin D level was scary low...I am in the Rickets stage and require a Vitamin D prescription to try to reverse that. I apparently have not been taking good enough care of myself for quite some time and that is going to have to change. I am working closely with the doctor and I feel that things are going to get better soon. I just have to be patient. Apparently when your body is sick like this it just holds on to everything it can and so my doctor feels that this is part of the reason I have not seen the weight loss I would like. I have been put on restrictions for some of the exercising I was doing. I really miss my Zumba class. I miss going to Jazzercise. I miss my time with Amy at water aerobics. I just have to take it easy for a bit until my energy can get back to normal. I just hope it doesn't take too long. :)