Monday, April 12, 2010


I have been thinking alot about TOLERANCE. On Saturday afternoon I ventured out of the house to do some grocery shopping. I wasn't feeling very well but I just wanted to get out of the house for a bit. I knew that I could use a power scooter to get around Walmart and not have to be in pain walking around the entire store. I am so thankful that I have 2 legs and normally I do not have to depend on other means to get around. I have so much respect for those who require assistance to do some of the things that we take for granted on a daily basis. It was amazing to me how rude people can be when you need assistance. They were in this hustle and bustle hurry to get wherever it was they needed to go. Somehow I was in the way no matter where I turned. I couldn't reach things on the shelf and I would have to wait until Ray or Jessica were there to get the items I needed. People would give me dirty looks and seemed angry at me for being in their way. They don't know me...they have no clue the type of person that I am...they know nothing about me, but yet they were angry and frustrated with me. It broke my heart.

This can happen to our family pretty son looks so normal...but he is not normal. He knows nothing of personal space. He will walk right in front of people at the store and practically get run over by their cart. He can get in the way and step on your toes. He doesn't realize that a moving car could injure or kill him. I feel like I am constantly hanging on to his hand or his shirt collar just to keep him safe. I get those same kinds of looks when I have Raymond with me. Those looks of disgust if he runs into someone or steps in front of their cart, or just gets in their way. If the looks were translated into words...well I just couldn't bare to think what they would be saying. I always try to smile and politely say I am so sorry...but they don't seem to care or understand why I am apologizing. People are quick to judge. They assume that I have an out of control child that needs some serious parenting and they would love to give me some advice on the matter. When Raymond was a baby, he did not have the core strength to keep himself upright in the cart, he would always lean to one side, and he was not very happy in the cart. At that time he was having frequent seizures and I didn't have the heart to leave him at home in anyone else's care. He would scream with frustration because he couldn't stay up. I had a woman come up to me while I was grocery shopping and told me I should leave the store and come back when I could finally control my own child. "Can't you just shut him up" she said. I was a coward and left the store...trying to fight back the tears until we were alone in the car. Raymond is almost eleven now and I have much thicker skin where he is concerned. I had a hard time at church one Sunday a few years ago, when I had Raymond in the restroom with me because Ray was not around to take him in with him. I couldn't just let him go into the restroom by himself without any help. Once again I got a look of disgust as I was assisting my son. My thoughts are different now and I am not afraid to say something like "You have something to say to me...SAY IT!" Whoever created the "family" restrooms are such a hero to me. Most every place we go now they are available and I am so grateful. It is funny how these simple things can make such a difference in our life with our special needs child. There are so many other rude stories I could tell you about our experiences with Raymond...I could go on and on. It really doesn't matter though...

Just try a little harder to accept people and their disabilities. Give them a warm smile to brighten their day! They have so much to offer us and we can learn so much from them. They just want to be accepted and most importantly they want to be loved. They also have so much love to give. What could be better than that? I often tell people when they ask me why I am so positive and so happy all of the time...If I could let them have Raymond for just one day...they would see a different world and they would never ever be the same.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for your post. Welcome to MY world! love ya.